Getting home from work yesterday I was pretty wiped. After getting dinner and doing a few chores I collapsed on the sofa until about 8pm. By then I was totally exhausted physically and emotionally so I basically became unconscious as soon as I climbed in to bed. I go to bed quite early anyway since I get up at 4:30am every day to go to work but this was even earlier than usual.
A couple of hours later my wife came to bed non too quietly and kindly woke me up so I ended up with some time to think about things again. By the time midnight had come around I had made my decision and now all I have to do is work out how I'm going to make it happen. Basically I need to change something in my life that has been making me miserable for years now but do it without hurting those around me. If I don't make this change I am not going to survive emotionally anymore.
I'm not going to go in to any details since only a few people need to know that but writing this down here makes this more real and will prompt me not to be a chickenshit and back out of something just because it might hurt. Time to see what my life is going to become.
if you want to leave me, just get it over with :}
ReplyDeleteNo leaving going on, you know that already. I'm just trying to deal with who I am and be better for you.
ReplyDelete