I'm sitting here busy working at work (I know, novel concept right) and I'm wondering if I am actually managing to make things better at work for me. Has my insistence on getting to work on things I enjoy rather than the drudgery crap I have had to do actually changed anything? I know I've been given more money and stock options but are my longer term prospects improving? These things are never sudden and total, they happen over time. That makes it harder to see that it has changed properly since you end up not recalling exactly how bad it was due to the bad things slowly stopping and potentially other bad things starting. I feel like I'm just running in place sometimes with no hope of improvement. Then other times I look at what I have achieved and wonder if I can or need to do more.
Then I could go on to the love of my life, my wife. I know I'm not perfect for her right now, there are things I can do better. I just wonder if the efforts I'm trying to make to improve things are having any effect. All I really want to do is make her happy and spend my life with her. Balancing all the things I do to make that happen gets lost in my head sometimes. There are so many things I want or need to do I sometimes forget something and it annoys me that I do so. I should be able to do most if not all of it.
Anyway, enough pondering for now. I find it I think about these too much I lose my mind even more and end up doing nothing. I need to actually do things.
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