Sometimes I worry that I'll never get everything I have to do done. Today I just finished something I had to get done before going on holiday later this week. I was trying to fix something that had been broken since day 1 in our product and should have worked but was never actually implemented. Then of course a customer runs in to it and demands that it work. So in I come and try to get this fucking thing working, the original implementers (or should I say failtoimplementers) no longer being here, poking around trying to find the most elegant and bullet proof to fix it. Then suddenly this morning it all came together.
The journey from outright disbelief at something, to frustration that it isn't working how you want it to, to somehow it all comes together in your test to passing it on to the person who needs to do a more thorough test is a bit of a wild ride mentally. You feel so elated when it is done but the path your emotions take on the way there can be hell.
A lot of things in my life seem to work like this, looking like I'll never make it then suddenly it comes together in time. It can fill me with self-doubt and worry and stress. Then when it passes the relief is a physical thing, you can notice it lift from you.
Now if only I could get work to recognise what I go through when they need this of me and to pay me a requisite amount with the amount of skill I bring to my job.
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