I feel so much like the normal me now. Getting home yesterday was such a relief. Seeing my beautiful wife for the first time in days was amazing. The world made sense again, being away doing something out of the ordinary was supremely weird for me. It's hard to say much more since for me writing about my feelings is really hard and this situation is all feelings to me. It is how I feel in my gut and heart as it were. Trying to describe it comes very awkwardly for me.
Suffice to say I really don't want to do that again. Sure it was a useful training course that I can use in my career but the fact that I had to spend time away was so hard.
Why is this so hard to describe for me? I know I feel these things but putting them down in words or expressing them to someone else is so so hard to me. Compared to the ease at which the complex code analysis I learned about was understood I really wish my brain was better at some things.
i'm sensing a theme here...hard...how typically male
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