Caring

  Sitting here at the doctor's office while my wife sees him thinking about things. Thinking about what really matters and who I care for.  I never really go in with my wife when she sees a doctor, I try to give her a chance to say anything she wants to without me being there.

  I've only ever found one person I really care for, I mean beyond just wanting to do things for them. I'm talking about wanting to do anything you can for them no matter what happens to you. I get scared by things a lot, I'm quite the shy retiring coward. In trying to do everything I can for this one person (my wife duh) I've had to confront all sorts of things that absolutely terrify me. I would never have done as much with my life as I have if it hadn't been for her.

  I'm glad I got the chance to spend today working from home, I get to look after and care for my wife while she is not feeling that great. She does suffer a bit from SAD (seasonal affective disorder or something like that) which is basically feeling down during the winter. She had a bad day yesterday and I'm trying my best to do what I can for her. I know I can't always do everything for her so I try to get her help from other people as she needs it.

  We are seeing someone else to see how they can help her because right now I know I can't do enough for her. Accepting that you sometimes aren't able to help is part of caring and instead allowing a person to finding another way of getting help is hard to do.