Today I have been revealed as the idiot wanker that I am. I've done stupid hurtful things to people that didn't deserve it and I'm still announcing it to the world. That is selfish of me but I just can't stop because otherwise I am going to go mad. Even now I am probably hurting people by doing this which shows just how much of a coward I am since this helps me and no-one else.
Everybody is angry at me and rightfully so and I will take it. I will suffer the punishment I deserve for everything I have done and allow whatever outcome that arises to wash over me. I just want to run away and hide but I won't. I want to do the right thing for my wife with whatever she decides to do. This is going to take some time, maybe the rest of my life, then again reading that I want to kick myself for being so fucking melodramatic.
I mean who the fuck am I to feel all this? I did this to myself and I don't deserve to wallow in self pity like this. I need to get on with things but it is just too damn hard.
I apologise to anyone who reads this and sees all this crap as the introduction to what I write about and if you are looking for things to get away from the dull humdrum of life then this is not going to be the place for you for a while. This is purely my space for now and will likely remain a solitary little area just for me to write about my shit.
No comments:
Post a Comment